New Year's Eve 2010

Today I awoke with a feeling of bittersweet about the New year. The time is going by so quickly. Yesterday I was a student working towards a bachelor's degree, a few hours ago, I had a baby and just seconds ago he turned one and began saying "mommy". In reality, I graduated a year and a half ago and I've been home for a whole year and a half with Tristan. The days go by slowly; there are days when it seems time is standing still... and yet the New year is upon me.
I don't want to be in 2011. But, then again, I do not want to stay in 2010. I guess I'm beginning to feel my age. New year's didn't hold much meaning for me when all I was looking forward to was in my future. Now I have so many things to look back upon in my past that the new year is scary. I am framing my past by the minute and I know that I'll never get those minutes back. A lot of the "firsts" in my life are past. And there is a finality to life that I'm beginning to understand.
On the other hand, I am excited about the upcoming year. I'll potty train for the first time. I'll have a second child, which in itself is glorious! Maybe I'll even run in my first 10K (a lifelong goal). I definitely do not want to become stagnant or resistant to change. I guess I'm just a bit scared.
Happy New year! It should be a good one, I'll conquer my fears and inadequacies one at a time and I'll try to keep updating the blog.

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